Only Letter I’d want to Deliver

Dear X-<something>

So, this completes the full 4 years of knowing you, from fondness to obsession and from obsession to nothing...now! 

Honestly, I am not sure of this revolution but things have changed and ‘You're’ to be held responsible. Probably, we often want it so badly that we ruin it before it begins...Over-thinking. Fantasizing.  Imagining. Expecting. Worrying. And what not so I may at fault too but guess m convinced 'now' it's never worth it. 

Your I-am-so-intelligent-and-most-eligible-bachelor tag may have got something to do with it  too but 'O my dear Darling' it doesn't matter ‘now’.

You know, I still remember my cloud nine feeling when you'd first helped with getting around in the shuttle and I laid my eyes on you for the first time. Ecstasy was at its best and 'O my dear Darling' I was flying and yes flying like really high and declared victory the moment you'd accepted my friend request on FB (silly me!!); it was Thursday and date 10th Jan'13 and my heart raced and skipped the beat, and, you shot me dead later the very moment you'd shared adding seeing same organization name (holy shit who does that? and on FB?).

Butterflies rose zillion times we exchanged gestures at work in your 2 years of tenure in the same city and finally I vomited everything (I still regret it) and you rejected it out rightly (as expected) saying we-are-so-fucking-friends (of course on FB) and nothing else. No whining but I feel had vested so much of interest into the whole of it that eventually when my fondness rose to obsession and luckily to nothing 'now' I died emotionally but mentally became strong. Everybody has some those so painfully honest friends and I have my share too but I never listened and overlooked everybody else but not you. Honey, you robbed my self-consciousness and eventually my self-ego but I never flinched and continued to pursue 'You'. If only time can tell then nobody must have worshiped you like I did.  

Thinking on feet I realize now how 'awkwardly' stupid whole of this is and I with fainted heart still survived ...maybe coz I had to see fall of a dynasty and move on. No regrets 'Sweety' but trust me time is a teacher and  I've had my lessons and 'maybe' you already have yours. And, it’s all good coz I got the better version of myself just coz of you and I’m thankful for it.

So, time to bid adieu to you n memories have come and you know what? I'm very happy about it.  Period. 

Yours (Never)

Who wanna give a damn?

My 'Lost' Love

Hello My ‘Lost’ Love

Blame me! It’s been a while that I’ve forgotten about you or rather pretending to forget you. 

I’m mostly busy into my 2 by 4 cubicle life or 9 to 8 job that I’ve missed to miss you ‘My Love’.

I agree, we’re happy with each other until end of 2014 and 2015 was expected to be stepping stone but time got worst of us and we hardly interacted. Thinking in time reminds me that how much compatible we’re and how much we longed to be with each other but failed at misery of life and time stood still that we lost touch eventually.

   Please be remembered that have always been speaking high of you ‘My Love’ but still not sure how hard it is to get back to what we’re before, where to start and what to call, and I’m not confident enough if you gonna accept my sincerest apologies about this detachment.

   But if only true love has a language then I’m a true admirer of you and now will never betray your fondness. Ecstasy is at its best and I’m at peace when we’re together cuddling next to each other.

   If only I can please and you can accept my admission of guilt then have my words ‘My Love’ that we gonna meet frequently now to conquer the world and to surprise others with our duo. Period.

   I wanna tell you and infact to the world that I’m coming home and counting on tough time to come to an end! We gonna meet now to never part away and let time gets the best of us. My only true Love ‘Writing’, I’ve missed you if only time can tell!

Yours sincerely

Sloppy Writer

India vs. Pak vs. Board Exams

An interesting trio and would be worthwhile to see who is gonna triumph. Of course for first 2 results would be out by EOD today and last one (but not the least) would share the report card towards the end of May. Cant govern the authenticity actually but if they call 15th Feb as the Hate Day then Yes I’m supporting them. Why? Here is -

I hate the match timings, I hate World Cups, I hate the Players, I hate TV, I hate Cable Providers, I hate every possible thing which is helping in broadcasting this match to a greater audience. Agreed I’m not much into sports coz to me that’s just a game and is for the laid-back as an excuse to pass the time. Not categorising anyone here but you may choose to watch any game to pursue your interest too. Let’s not deviate from the subject here coz I may land up into another bull fight as in ‘Why Girls don’t encourage sports like Guys do?'. So point is I’m not watching it and isn't discouraging anyone watching but the timings seem to be not right.

I understand the reason behind my ‘this hatred’ isn't this obvious but the title of the blog may be giving someone an idea. Actually My Son like brother (we have a 10 years of age difference and this gives me rights to be his unofficial second mother) is appearing for 12th Board Examination, so this year is equally important for both of us though we dwell and living life at our own pace but the report card at the end of May is going to make a huge difference in our (Me & My Brother’s) lives.

No doubt this game of Ind vs. Pak is much anticipated and watched game in cricket history every time they are to play on any ground across the globe. Irrespective of age and fraternity and infact the world leaders would gauze their eyes as if 2 Emperors are in battle field and the winner is going to win the whole. Every six or four any Indian player is going to hit or any Pak wicket is down is been applauded with everybody glued to their 15 inch monitor or some inch of Idiot Box at home (I assume wider audience is supporting India here).

But this time my brother aka son’s career is at stake and thus all this time no matter how hard I restrict or rude I get, he is going to watch the match anyway. And if not then he’ll involve himself in any dead activity apart from studies. So anyway he is going to waste 8-10 hrs of today where every minute is making a difference. Considering the situation at my home itself I feel pity for all those parents whose kids are going to appear for this year’s Board Examination and are trying hard for their kids to stop watching the game. The gamble today for me and them has gone to a different level and it just not the victory of any team today but is about our kids securing good marks as we speak of 12th Marksheet. After 4 years in 2019 the World Cup will happen, agreed may not be the same players and of course not at the same location or worst of all may not be the same teams but is gonna happen (unless world crashes down before that which is less likely possible :) ) but my brother (aka son) and his Akins wouldn’t get an opportunity to redo the same job and if they get then they are an year old to their successors.

These crucial 8-10 hrs. are just taking all of them down by some ranks or some % less from the what they expected to achieve making me and all a ’le unsettled n curious. 

PS: May the best win but not at the cost of anybody’s career.

An Undelivered Letter

Dear Mr Crush

Hope this will find you in pink of your health and wealth.

Another year gone by and I realised it’s been 2 years now that I have been admiring you. A complete two years of stalking and finding every possible info available to make (‘feel’) this impossible looks little possible and achievable. Well coming to the years have realised that time has just flown and m still there from where I started. Oh No, I think few steps’ve walked (that you never noticed) but considerably not at all worth the milestone I wanna achieve. If an instance I consider a ‘Yes’ or reciprocation as my final destination then I have just walked out of my house and hell yeah a long ...long way to go. I always wanna let you know how different it feels when my subconscious talks to yours and they never get anybody wrong or anything for that matter.

I still remember the time when I saw you in the bus for the very first time and was bowled over the fact of turning the dream into reality. Acceptance of request on FB & LinkedIn were few feathers in my cap but they never got me long enough and I always had to struggle for ways to have a communication until I got your whatsapp contact but later that could barely help too. This was my first infact is my first where I’m from tip to toe is crazy about this madness, madness of liking for somebody, madness for stalking somebody, madness for stealing photos from someone’s public library, madness for sharing tiniest of the details with some crazy buddies……countless madness I can write without a single reciprocation. I appreciated the time you mocked about my confession and behaved as usual and infact later too. But you know what, had it been me in your place I would have dejected the very person, wouldn’t have given any false hopes or signs….to me a ‘No’ means ‘No’ literally. Period.

You know what sometimes I build my world around you (don’t worry even here you don’t give me dreams but we just talk and talk) and sometimes I just laugh on the faded memories back when we're working in same premises. I always have a question when we aren’t into each other (precisely when ‘u’ aren’t into) then why did I meet you in first place, why did someone introduce you to me...I don’t see a purpose. We're just two different souls....okay we may have few things in common but they don’t draw your attention and you wouldn’t consider. Hell yes, you're 10 on 10 for me and I may be 6 or may be just 5 in your list. Do you know I always want to talk to your subconscious to have an honest conversation, not coz you act strange in real or maybe you just trying to be nice. But please I don’t need this 'O-I-am-nice-with-you-but-don’t-get-me-wrong' kind of look; I just wanna let you know with the time I have always seen the better in you and no matter how hard it gets I’ll always cherish the moment I confronted my real you to you. Considerably I am deaf and blind, my road may never meet the destination M aspiring for but m still hoping for a miracle; a miracle that’ll light everything up and can have you by my side. Things may fasten up or go worst but lunatic part of me is still praying and praying for this obsession to get more intense or get over finally. I may not have enough time now to hang on but surely I’m counting on memories to write a journal later. Period.

PS: Old habits die hard and you're one of them. 

Faithfully Your’s Admirer

5 on 10

Finally a new address! :-)

This was my 3^rd time home hunting (“looking” would be underestimation of efforts I put in and considering the outcome too) during my 18 months of stint in Pune.  With the time, have realised I’m not kind of person who is fine with any change and infact the mere thought of change (any for that matter) thrills and m upside down. This time Holy idea of the roof to stay calm and have peace is what bothered me and motivated to look for this tryst of painful efforts.

Contrary to other 2 times, this time it took hell out of me to get a place of own. My bad luck that everything else contributed to hard time was having in the current place and in search of another. Resulting those reckless sniffs and sleepless nights… here I was blessed with ‘Insomnia’.  The juggle was this bad that me n my roomie were constantly just praying for every sec of August month to pass…just pass and guess we had it all.

Due to odd working hours we never explored Aundh during the weekdays so it was just weekend we had for this pursuit. Remembering the last weekend I still feel like patting my shoulder for morning 8 to evening 10 job for those countless calls we have made and the houses we have seen.  

Anyway my tryst with home ‘hunt’ was never a good experience and in the end I always land up paying more and less comfort than the current. 

Things do take a troll and you get to accessories yourself with few things out of your checklist.

It was Thursday (28^th Aug’14) when we decoded the fact that 1 more day wouldn’t bring any luck and beggars can’t be choosers. We did say yes to what we had; roomie paid the token and we got the keys.

I am mean thus wouldn’t share the amount of efforts I shredded in shifting stuffs from one place to another coz what’s done for once is done forever.

And, yeah finally I have a new address.  :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

Wanderlust: Trek#1 - Kalavantir Fort

M akela hi chala tha janib manjil magar, log sath aate gae aur karwan banta gaya…….

 

This one I witnessed in this first official trek with Apex Adventures group. I was on cloud 9, damn excited when Friday afternoon (20th Jun’14) group coordinator Amol confirmed that he can accommodate me n Tamanna for this trek.
 

I had no idea of the history and isn’t interested though K (details can be wiki’d here - http://www.indiatvnews.com/news/india/know-about-kalavantin-durg-world-s-most-dangerous-fortress--30463.html). I GOOGLEd too but the details never scared me and all the more encouraged my willingness to get lost from the daily chaos and busy living.

Thus this one was special is all due respects and yeah I had my share completely. Amidst all the odds (trust me there were odds :( and I was praying for no rain tho drizzling would work ;)) roads (passage should be more apt) untraveled were calling and we started the journey around 6:15 in the morning (Saturday 21st Jun’14) and then whole day had its wings open to the unfolded and unimagined wanderlust. Noteworthy to mention my tryst with the total 30 strangers except the fact known that all will be sharing same level of interest & excitement (trust me this is the best 1 can opt for, recommending once in life to kick off travel with bag packed to Roads travelled/ untraveled).
 

Fun loaded, energy packed 31 people (excusing me n Tamanna as Marathas had the priority and we were not so keen to have-so-friendly-talk) made their introduction on the go followed by Antakashri by dividing the front and back side of the TT in 2 groups like a school (this time front one battled and won well).
 

10:15 AM: It was scorching hot that made people crib a bit but I was thanking God for #NoRain thing when the bus stopped at the start juncture. Bag packed with water bottles tucked in the side, laces on for what road had to offer on the go.

 

 

 

11:15 AM:  I never believe in shortcuts but guess everyone else has the fascination; I followed the crowd too and we opted 2, cutting the deep forest, paths made by waterfalls in the past (absolutely steep and slippery; climbing like a monkey and watching out the steps is what saved me there :) ) and which had barely avoided few centimeters of trek :(

 

12:15 PM: wasn’t sure if I to thank (half battle won) or worry (worst is yet to come) when some co-travelers pointed to the Flag mounted at the top of the sheer and daunting mountain (suggest you to not opt if you have vertigo). A stop for 10-15 mins wasn’t enough to collect the energy and strength to climb that high for sure but we had a long n a difficult way to go and there we started marching again (all this while me n Tamanna were giving each other a energy dose of motivation which was worth it that we realized at the final destination).

 

 

 

 
  All this time God was merciful with #NoRain thing, windy/ shady at times but little brutal as Sun was meting us in all sweat and which was eventually making the go/hiking little difficult (I realized as wasn’t precise while making a wish; guess that’s what I always do infact everyone does ;) :P)
 

 Now a walk midst some village for a while followed by 0.5 foot steps (surely these are the longest and all the more for on n off you walking between abyss (khaayi) and mountain on your left). Mere thought of walking 2 persons at a time on 1 step or holding someone was scary enough to ruin your whole endeavor.

1:30 PM: Badly sweating, grueling wanna gave up but the desolate, dumped forest had nothing to offer in return so marching ahead was what one would opt for (Glucose/ electoral or any such thing was barely of help in this steep passage). Narrowly crawling, climbing we reached to a point where the whole world was looking so small. At such a height locating the TT was such an energy stroke that we could simply forget the hard way and cherish the heavy wind welcoming the whole crowd.  

 

 

2:15 PM: and yeah we there “ ‘2300 foot’ ”. OMG….the world is absolutely small and whole crowd cheered ‘Jai Maratha’, ‘Jai Bhawani’, ‘Jai Shivaji’; it turned the whole atmosphere so worthy of the efforts everybody had put in to reach here. Everybody turned into an avid photographer with the ‘click’, ‘click’, ‘cheers’, ‘Cheese Butter’ sounds coming from every corner of that flat surface on the top of this mountain. Trust me, every bit of the effort was worth when one swallows the very ounce of the Air this high (such tranquility, such a peace. Period.)

 

 

3:15 PM: Post Jevan we started to descend as the hollowness of the same path will daunt again and home is what one long for all this time. We (me n Tamanna) were part of the early movers but by taking pauses the last crowd met us in the middle. Walking back was absolutely difficult coz of the sheer slope and an eye for details is what can save one from falling.

 

It was 5:15 PM when we reached the TT back but a portion of the crowd still had energy left to swing on the long branches of Banyan tree. Amol did propose us a ride but busting head and aching back had strong influence to decline the offer.

They further took us to 1 among the ‘Ashth Vinayak Ganpati Temple’ on the way and I had one of the best wada paav and chai at the adjacent dhaba (this one was a true reliever in all respect). Me, Tamanna and few others were as good as dead ‘almost’ but remaining crowd (probably frequent trekkers) were still loaded with the energy thus they were dancing, jumping, playing on the way back home which eventually ended with 10-15 rounds of ‘Dumbs raj’ game.

 

At around 9:15 PM I was back home, barely walking, talking in the lane but definitely returning with hell of memories to cherish with crazy fellows.

 

At last, a day well spent is what I could afford to think before dozing off that day around 9:45 PM.

“Roads Untraveled, Paths unfolded” (Rain could have added more fun but I dint wish for)......will meet again on another! :-)
 

Modi-May Bharat!

  Survival of the fittest and yeah on 16^th May’14, India had finally got Narendra Damodardas Modi as his 16^th Prime Minister. The outspoken and commendable journey he had and so thus he made his swearing-in ceremony a larger than life moment where even dignitaries from the neighbouring countries have graced & witnessed the magical ride of vote politics. His agenda was apparent and India has finally got a leader. So much was talked, discussed but he finally made it....my salute! Period. The one who believes in action than just plans n plans. During the Loksabha Election, it was Modi whom mass have voted irrespective of the numerous faces contested election from wider part of nation . Here, I don’t deny the presence of BJP and their work for the country but it was 1 face who ruled all and BJP saw the unanimous victory after a decade almost. Now since all done and set for him to perform, unexpected is believed, a greater part of country is waiting for his magical leadership.

    His decision so far of fewer ministers and more work is already indicating a long run for this government but he really has a long way to go. In midst of all, his phase 1 i.e. 100 days agenda is raising high hopes and much talked about for both him as a person and his Government. Having said that BJP has a remarkable list of proficient ministers but Mr Visionary has a lot to deliver in terms of promises made during the election campaigns which automatically brings lot of challenges to the plate.

    During his stint, not sure of the order but to me as a mass leader he has to battle with 4 demons mainly Corruption, Unemployment, Poverty and Terrorism there in country with their wide jaws open. Fathom the choices he has, historical it would be to see him fighting the devils and coming out as a victorious King. His determination and passion to serve the nation can be easily seen while shuffling the pages of his life so far. People have already started talking about it across the globe. Tho it’s too much to expect at this point in time but I’m keeping my fingers cross for the vision he is aiming for India in coming years when he had already outspoken about his report card in 2019 during his first speech in Parliament. Noteworthy it would be to witness all of it when whole India has their eyes on him and counting on him for fortunistic & prosperous India.

   

   I’m signing off here with lots of best wishes to my leader, your leader, mass leader NaMo. We believe in you and this one reminds me of you n just you....

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep!

                               - Robert Frost