Letter to The Twinkling STAR ........

To,

The Most Adorable Female

Happy Bday ladki, Many Many Happy Returns of this day :*  

You are THE BEST so thus deserve, wishing best of everything for you Now and Always!! Words are less to wish (poor vocab u noe ;)) for you, consequently the true world of your admiration and desirable is wishful on your special day from Almighty. Age is just a number; wish you cherish manifold manifested multiplied happiness with the upsurge in this count JJ (So release self from boredom of getting old rather older ;) J :P )

As it’s your B’day today and you celebrating with your family whilst me staying this far realising how far we have come knowing each other. Looking back, to me Sakshi  you are a true epitome of beauty & brain, sweet, short, beautiful sophisticated female whom I happen to know for almost 5 years now!! Each and every day during the said epoch has unfolded many Said/Unsaid, Told/Untold ferns of the strong bond titled Friendship. You have stood beside as a perfect support, a shoulder to cry on, person to rely on, things to share with, to laugh out loudly and most important for letting me myself ALWAYS!!! (Undoubtedly will never forget the way you boost my confidence: inclusive of the many offline discussions we have had and I still don’t believe any but I bet one can’t win)

Things personified, time manifested, memories made, places changed but person to hang on, to hold on still remains invariant. We proudly prove immoral the saying ‘Jaha Dosti, waha Ladai’ coz with quick flashback, I recall, we happen to have had differences twice, thrice bearing in mind usual human nature (touchwood) but nothing has actually touched the strength of the bond that we share till date…….credit is all YOURS!! (beneath the circumstances how dominating and stubborn mad girl I happen to be)

There is nothing about my life that you don’t know or you don’t understand and fathom the choice, I can’t lie or yell at you. Always, it’s your aura that even for my deepest secret, I have caressed safe and intact with you.

You have impeccably mastered 50 shades to make others Feel-Good. Nothing to exaggerate but in your company I have realized the worth of friends whom we call BEST BUDDIES…..I have had buddies but BEST goes with your name and few moreJJJ. Had it been the case I have an elder brother, trust me could have hold you back for lifetime leaving you with no option ( :P I know I am greedy but can’t help).

Coming to the years, I remember when we first met, you happened to be the chubbiest, shy, adorable, little beautiful doll of the class where everyone had tagged selves in some or other relations (no wonder no guy had come and proposed in person) which they truly dwelled during their sojourn with you. Right from day one till date, only thing that is constant is your NATURE and its firmness. Though out of we five, you happened to be the one with less exposure to outer world but the maturity and the outlook you have had shown towards certain things was/is  commendable; be it scolding Anjana/Khushboo from being impulsive n rigorous shopper or shredding responsibilities in B-2.  

I am thankful and can never forget the time you were there (be it the candid conversation in hostel’s balcony, 5^th floor that midnight or those lovely wintery early morning conversations in B-2) with all ear (is all that chatter box ‘me’ always want) rather with patience ear for nonstop and countless conversations. Agreed though you hardly have had any solution to complex problems/setbacks of my life but shoulder to cry on is all I ever wanted or wish for.

I have cried, I have howled, I have yelled, I have flushed, I have frowned, I made mistakes, I lied, I moved, I mourned, I cherished, I fall, I sored, I laughed, I cursed, I was obsess……....in all YOU were there. Yes, you are there!! (still can’t imagine how difficult it used to be for you to handle one obnoxious wild unpredictable female)  You are more like a family NOW!!

Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume I said them. Happy B'Day :*

I remember giving you many lectures to speak your mind and eventually you do NOW but still there is a scope….don’t be blunt unlike me but atleast stand up with your opinion.

Your gentleness, softness, cuteness, sugariness, kindness, sincerity, tenderness, prettiness, firmness, dependability, caring & motherly nature, charmingness are reasons more than enough for someone to fall for you...................alas I am none in the list :)

My advice as always - Make choices, Dream big, Fly high, Govern people, Don’t take s**t, Raise against bullies, Obsess with some hobby, Smile daily, Laugh often, Explore world, Take chances, Give opportunities, Make mistakes, Fall in life to grow and flourish, Dance in the rain, ‘Love someone’ (who is worth but don’t be judgmental) and above all learn to ASK or DEMAND…..things that you forego and you truly deserve. Period.

I am sincerely wishing to take an opportunity today to share that it’s a pleasure knowing you as a person and it’s a blessing in itself,  person like you always stay close to the heart infact are true treat to the HEART.

Today you are about Nine-Thousand Six-Hundred Twenty-Eight and a Half – Day old! Happy B’day Girl :*

PS: I am sure someone reading this is falling for you or in a steep jealousy…….ALREADY!! Have gladiator and roam around………your charm is at peak J J J Love you Sweet heart  :*

Lots of Kisses & Hugs, From

The Most Foulest and Weird Female
Address is nowhere to be seen
Can be contacted anytime provided she picks up
Wanderlust may be a final destination!

Quarter life Crisis – Yes at 25!

Happy Birthday Neha! ‘Thank you’ is all I could afford when I heard someone reminded me of age saying – ‘You’ve turned 25!’ (Ohh! Magical & mysterious figure 20+5)  :-/

Confided to the fact it was my b’day, a mere intellectual part of me was longing for a big bash with closed buddies. A big filthy 2 pound cake with candles lit on the top and the moment I blew them off, to my surprise it was the room filled with light and people cheering for long lived me (sometimes crazy is the word when asked to describe the people who love me :*). Everyone partying and sloshed in the fact of me getting older with my mom serving delicious food that she has specially cooked for this day.

Turning pages of life and realizing fact of turning 20+5/growing older is inevitable and all I was left with a stinker of growing old (from everyone I happen to know on this planet  :-| ).
I have realized now that 20+5 is the figure where –

I live in my own messy room and dream of owning a bungalow someday   :P

I am learning cooking and kids 1/4th or half of my age are winning crown of ‘Junior Masterchef’ :O

I am still calculating finance to buy I-Pod and infants are playing subway surfer on I-pads (Filthy rich parents they are blessed with :P :P  )

I have incessant list of desires but have ‘just’ pocket full of (few) 100s to fulfill them  

I daily sleep with a promise to myself for keeping myself healthy and fit, morning walk and next day end up getting late for the office

I see my own college juniors are at better position and getting high pay checks than I was offered in the campus placement

My own junior colleagues taking over the work from me and making me feel that ‘I’ll be there soon!’ (old age is what I assume they refer here)

My LinkedIn profile is screwed up with no worthy recommendations or certificates to survive the tantrum of Corporates

My FB profile is full of people posting their relationship status, updating life events, sharing their marriage/HM pics n blah blah.

My flings are irritating me when I’m already shuddered by Earning vs Expense ratio

My own friends are busy finding match for them and sharing their candid conversations of first meet with to be or not to be in every group meet/chat

My own parents are always engrossed in discussions of my alliance with prospect bridegroom.

My own relatives tease me with blessings of getting double soon.

Realizing and opening eyes wide open to conquer that 20+5 is the age which dwindles between the life of confusion & possibilities; ecstasy has its own gloomy picture, dreams have their own wonderland and reality has its own dirty picture L L .

Apparently age and alcohol are same side of coin; the less we have, more we realized its importance. Perhaps true, it’s the age where sense of maturity is drooling over the child in me. Daily with passing time nothing changes but when I look back can see handful of hits n bucketful of misses.

Alas birthday blues is all I am left with whenever I hear someone saying infact whispering 25 or a Quarter  :( :( :(

I Dont Wanna.....

I don’t wanna miss him
I don’t wanna cry for him
I don’t wanna long to hear from him
I don’t wanna crib for things that has set us apart
I don’t wanna raise discomfort about we not talking
I don’t wanna crave for our silly conversations again


I don’t wanna talk about the discontentment of not seeing him ever again
I don’t wanna itch for the things that naïvely went wrong between us
I don’t wanna admit I read old conversations all over again n again
I don’t wanna appear feeble without his company
I don’t wanna curse myself anymore for not holding the relation iron tight
I don’t wanna hide the scars on my heart due to unexpected and awful loss

I don’t wanna sulk anymore about the fact he didn’t give me the last chance
I don’t wanna lie to myself anymore as all the things have happened for good
I don’t wanna stoop this low coz of dissimilarities between us
I don’t wanna mischief myself for not trying again
I don’t wanna face the shift of Somebody to Nobody 
I don’t wanna die in the guilt of living life of a looser

But in all this I have realised that nothing gonna change the fact
And I have lost ma favorite star
A shoulder to cry on
A friend for life
Alas Nothing can make things right as before
No overhaul is well thought-out
We have moved sheepishly
Coz in the end regrets or mistakes, they're all memories made
But I don’t wanna accept it…….NOW!!

Plethora of ‘Marriage’ – Dammit Marry her!

Mid last year with me growing ‘Older’ n ‘Wiser’ ( ;) ) and evidently falling in the crowd of ‘Eligible Bachelors’ (not using ‘Most’ coz I am yet concluding if I am ;) ), My loving Mom started troubling me with the disruptions of finding the so called ‘Right Guy’. Also, even every now and then my FB account keeps displaying updates of my some or other friend getting ‘Engage’, ‘Married’ or ‘In relation’ with their Beloved; looks like ‘Getting Hooked’ is contagious these days or may be folks in my surroundings are really ‘Eligible’ to get hitched (I remember having conversation with one good friend recently about the shrinking friends list and unsurprisingly he happens to share the same reason- ‘Most are either busy dating/ meeting/ finding their RIGHT partners and rest are convinced to get coupled at early possible’). It’s more or less like a sprint that you sharing with people of alike age so that you don’t overburden self with feeling of being left out alone.

How could I be an exception to this social creed and with her ‘My Mom’s’ insistence I happen to meet 2-3 guys till date and as expected nothing worked out due to a thick line between mine and their (‘Parents’) ideology of a perfect marriage. Ant fascinated by any of the fairy tales and M nowhere longing for my prince charming to come on white horse (I so wish…...…though fancy & rare combination :P) but still COMPATIBLITY (wont excuse if you happen to mold the due definition) has to be there.

Disgust with the feeling and been chased by regular family drama (have to include my all blood relations here as if I am burden on their head more than my parents… huuh :-/), I had to itch fully tell my Mom that will try and search by own bearing in mind her due conditions (same caste, class n blah blah). And with this tenacity in my mind, I happen to make account on one of the matrimonial site (since start I have deactivated my account thrice till date due to their over helpingness resulting flood in mail box by their daily Photo & Profile matches, ‘Thank God! they still haven’t embraced name match criteria’ :P ). In all conscience, I never find myself ok and convinced with the concept of finding ‘Better half’ with the help of such sites but with she (My Mom) taking daily follow ups, I have to certainly continue with my lame search. I defend myself again with the cues such sites provide, with the description Prospect ‘To Be’ has written about themselves and their expectations from their Better Halves (No offence, but sometimes when I need a good laugh I happen to login into my account ‘Matrimonial’ and perform random search and as anticipated they are always hilarious :D ).  Profusely to my rather everyone’s disclosure, every guy present there in fact EVERY GUY on this planet is looking for a Fair, Tall, Beautiful, high education labeled Woman with a great sense of humor despite of their analysis for self. Forgive me for my obnoxious bluntness but I always wanna raise a question ‘Have you ever seen self in the mirror..? ‘Urvashi’ or any other ‘Apsara’ (Nymph) exists only either in fairy tales or in Paradise so don’t desire them here. Period.

(I bet, all “To be there” and “To be not there” would be having tough time appetizing what made me make such meek comments; beforehand ant ‘apprehensive’ or ‘judgmental’ about their views and off that I laugh reading their English and common Grammar mistakes where for an e.g. ‘A’ or ‘U’ will make a difference in G_Y :P)

With me reading their self-description as ‘I am a nice, cool, lovely, sweet guy next door expecting someone who can turn their ‘life into a miracle’, ‘a friend for life’, ‘should have high family values’, ‘should treat in-laws as her own parents’, ‘Should be a teetotaler n non-smoker’, ‘Should prefer working after marriage’ n blah blah……..list continues personifying one’s aim and expectations, I happen to question myself or rather whole ‘FEMALE FRATERNITY’ - “If everyone is desirable of Ms. Perfect to have a flawless world together then where would majority of girls will go (strongly raising discomfort about ‘ordinary’ girls struggling hard for their survival persona and to differentiate self from ‘Anybody’ to ‘Somebody’)…….??”   

With expectations howling your mind and gallops of finding best, I would still like to state and suggest: Date a girl who – 

‘Dare to Dream’ (those who dream will surely achieve, may not all but at-least some)

‘Dare to be Independent’ (one who fights for her Freedom will surely respect your Freedom, the word people coin ‘Personal space’ won’t exist in your dictionary later, I bet!)

‘Dare to Speak’ (life would be monotonous if she takes whatever you or other is saying without making noise or uttering a word and after all it’s a bliss to enjoy & cherish love after a fight)   

‘Dare to Work’ (one who believes in shouldering this responsibility of yours can very well manage your household chores and all the strings attached post Marriage)

‘Dare to Travel’ (one who has passion for roads is always prepared for the worst during the transit and most imp she is more thrilled and excited about ‘How to Go’ than ‘Where to go’, adventure is abundantly found and will turn your world right side up)

‘Dare to Read’ (one who passionately thrives for good stuff to read will surely implement at-least half of it in betterment of life and true WISDOM will be her only n only choice)

‘Dare to Walk Alone’ (that way she’ll not always expect you to be her side causing any sort of discontentment or annoyingness to you)

‘Dare to Laugh’ (Smile is her only destination and she’ll ensure spreading her ‘Happy-Go-Lucky’ charm around)

‘Dare to Dance or Sing’ (one who pursues some hobby or career are happen to be most cheerful and satisfied people, life would always be a blessing with them thus just pray to find one)

‘Dare to Write’ (one who has flairs for words and literature will always have new ways to define your love and the way she feels about you to depart the boredom of life)

Awe! If you happen to Date any of them or akin and that ‘WOW’ factor is meritoriously identified then Hold her, don’t delay asking that ‘Princess’ to become ‘Queen’ for rest of your life. And, Poor Champ don’t be disheartened if you failed to meet any such passionate Woman or it didn’t work out in ‘First’ or ‘Second’ place, World hasn’t ended.

With all benevolence and love in your Heart, pursuit and Date a ‘Regular girl just like next door’, ‘who may not be highly aspirational but will surely know how to live with due dignity’, ‘who may be ordinary in looks but will always ensure making other woman jealous when she’s with YOU’, ‘who may not reads memoirs, journals or high technical/non-technical stuff but will ensure having adequate knowledge to raise a family’, ‘who may not gives you financial aid but believes in spending wisely’, ‘who firmly believes in replacing word Ordinary of her dictionary into Special for you’, ‘who might not solemnly preaches in a temple but ensure respect for elders and care/love for youngers’, ‘who may not be a proficient chef but knows basic culinary for Lunch and Dinner so that you don’t die with hunger/ starve daily’, ‘who may not party daily/weekly/fortnightly in Pub or any lounge or may not be a party element but ensure calling her loved ones regularly to know their whereabouts’, ‘who may not be in perfect 36/24/36 size or has perfect curves but ensure maintaining healthy and wealthy physique’, ‘who may not dresses or grooms self gorgeously but ensure wearing adequate clothes and make-up sustaining places’ requirement’,  ‘who may not have sexy cheek bone or pretty dimple on cheeks but ensure welcoming everyone with open heart and smile on her face to honor their presence’, ‘who may demands gifts or asks for every celebration be it Birthday or an Anniversary just to ensure you are spending time together and exchanging token of love and remembrance’, ‘who believes in spreading happiness and turning your life into paradise’ and last but not the least ‘for you world or luxury may have its due definition which keeps on evolving but for her ‘YOU’ are the only WORLD & JEWEL and spending time in your arms is the only LUXURY’.

Blessing is your life if you chance to find such a gem for rest of your life, don’t waste time judging her sensibly, just embrace her, cuddle her with due love, surrender yourself as her only Man, promise her for creating beautiful world together and she acting as an only and only QUEEN…….here you go, an altogether life in ecstasy is waiting for YOU……. damn it MARRY HER!

Neither I am raising any expectations with this greediness spreading across nor I am frustrated with the plight of finding ‘So called’ right guy, My promising search is still ON and I am glad and content to convey myself that someone is still struggling or wasting time finding his final destination or companion for Life i.e. 'ME' coz I happen to be a ‘Girl next door’ like most JJ

PS: If you happen to be a girl reading this, then ‘Please Smile, You’re Beautiful’ and if you happen to be a guy reading this, then ‘Please Smile, since you have read this……ALREADY’ xoxoxo  JJJJ                                     

Inspired by ‘Date a boy who travels’ , ‘Date a Girl Who Travels’ and ‘Date a Girl who Reads’.

*What’s cooking……..umm le me think? ^_^ ^o^

Last week while having couple of free split seconds with naughtiness howling my mind, I thought of sharing a personal message in codes with a close buddy over her Facebook wall and instantly saw other friend peeped in asking out of curiosity ‘What’s cooking ladies..?’. Though famous for nonstop Gossiping but Honestly, what were we cooking and the answer to everyone’s disbelief was nothing personal or secretive as such which can’t be publicized with bunch of people I happen to share life daily on facebook without ‘Codes’.
Taking a pause, billion neurons started troubling my brain on how life has changed with the increase in nos/count for age..? Every emotion, every feeling, every gesture has got a revolutionary change over a period of time and ideally their definition was/is/will be different at a particular age. To my or your dismay, our thoughts characteristically are molded with the surroundings, they are broadened with the vision our eyes visualize, they hover with the imaginations of our mind’s ability to collect and envision.
I remember when I was a prep kid, all I used to ponder was about the life of fancy stories that either Maa or Dada had cover as a part of daily lullaby. Also my world was all restricted to 5 fruits name Apple, Mango, Banana , Orange and Grapes (how difficult it was that time to pronounce this word), 5 vegetables name Potato, Onion, Cauliflower, Peas and Tomato (Potato used to be my fav in ol) and list goes on for several other 5 set of things.
With me growing up and started going to Primary, all the things that WE (me and my friends of that time) used to discuss/ chatter were about toys, chocolates, books etc. All we used to crib about the things that our parents doesn’t let us do and about the things on which we’re  yelled by teachers. Spending max time on the ground was the big time achievement, priceless were the moments of exchanging expressions by saying some silly phrases, ‘ Dost nhi h kya’, ‘M bhi kal khila dunga’, ‘Yeh teri mummy ne banaya, (after a pause)….mujhe bhi khila na kaisa h’ n list goes on.
With me growing up further up until Secondary class, ‘To Study’ used to be the big time chore and nevertheless to mention securing position among top 3 used to be the only dream. With bit enrichment in sense of understanding, I had restricted myself to the daily schedule made by my particular and strict Mom keeping close eye on every second spent starting from getting up in the morning till getting lost in peaceful dreams. With further me moving to +2 class, word Dream was now replaced and transformed into ‘Aim’ with constantly everyone asking ‘Beta aage kya karna hain..?’Or something similar and Books were the only friend I had those days. With immense pressure to perform, to excel chasing me 24*7; getting a good, reputed rather so called “AIMS” was my only Dream. As an when I started weaving my parents dream in my own eyes, days passed in slogging my ass into tight study schedule, burning midnight oil AND taking early morning coaching notes.
Fortunately got through and was by then certain that this Renowned, Prestigious college is going to be my life for forthcoming 5 precious years of my life and also molding my life for another battle after this (in the same context “What after this…?”). Definition of my world then was having its own meaning with each semester passed and with me rising up. ‘LIFE’ was the only word with its due importance that surrogated a periphery around me during those days and was learning its ‘REAL MEANING’ hard way.  With every bits n pieces of ‘Chaos’, ‘Echoes’ of fight in battle of survival/ existence getting on my nerves, with every incident passed I started raising ‘INFIDELITY’ towards my due AIM.
Though Today, when people see me in white court, give due respect, treat me equal to GOD or rather as living GOD and all I am busy in making money and strengthening my bank balance to have a luxurious comfortable sleep for rest of my life. After spending one decent quarter century, My dreams have shaped and all grown now from those closed four walls of a 2 BHK owned by my father to a luxurious Bunglow, from that machine running on  2 small wheels with the help of pedal to a Mercedes/ Jaguar or BMW 7 series, from that black thread tied on my arms (out of superstition to prevent me from bad evil spirits n blah blah) to some carat gold bracelet and list further goes on with endless wishes and frantic desires. In short, meaning of ‘LIVING’ has totally changed for me now and guess with the time passing it’ll keep on evolving; Ghost of past and Gallops of future will make my PRESENT worth Living and Demanding.  

Prophesy: We the only one who have given wings to them (THOUGHTS & HOPES), so ‘let them fly’, ‘let them fly’…..very far very far…. Beyond Imagination! Beyond Control! :)

PS: Please Remember life is never equal and same at any two different point of time thus aim good and accept the positive energy from where possible…… HAPPY FLYING! HAPPY LIVING! JJJJ

* Frictional & Philosophical

सृष्टि की जननी तुझे प्रणाम….!!!

उस परमपिता परमेश्वर की सर्वोत्तम कल्पना एवं चरित्र को मेरा कोटि कोटि प्रणाम| इस नाट्य रूपी मंच पे ये विविध रूप मे समर्पित शक्ति उस पवित्र जल की तरह हैं जो हमेशा पात्र का आकार ले लेती हैं, गाड़ी के उस मजबूत पहिए की तरह जिसके बिना गाड़ी की कल्पना भी नही की जा सकती| हाँ, मैं ऐसी ही तो हूँ, आज जब पीछे मूड. के देखती हूँ तो समझ नही आता मेने क्या खोया क्या पाया|

कल्पना की परी मैं, लगता हैं कल की ही तो बात है जब कुछ ग्राम की मुझे, सुकून भरी नजरों से निहारती, छलकती आखों से माँ मेरी ने आँचल मे दुबका लिया था| इठलाती , लडखडाती , खिलखिलाती मैं चलना सीखी, माँ की ऊँगली पकड़ के रिश्तो की परिभाषा समझी। पापा एवं दादा की आँखों का तारा, इतराती थी मैं जब वो बेटा कह मुझे बुलाते थें । पढने लिखने के ज़माने में दोस्तों की टोली बनाके खूब धमाल मचाती थी। बचपन वो प्यारा था जब मैं दादी की लोरी सुन मीठे स्वपन की दुनिया में खो जाती थी।

जब बडी हुई थोड़ी और युवा कहलायी बेटे से बेटी कहलाने के सही मायने मैं जान पायी, फिर भी कभी माँ पापा से पूछने का साहस न कर पायी। अब हर बात पे माँ डाटती थी और दादी टोकती थी, शरारत करने की तमन्ना लिए दबी आस में मैं सो जाती। बदल गया था लोगो का नजरिया, शायद स्वाभाविक था अपने ही शरीर में परिवर्तन मैं जो भांप रही थी। गुडिया अब प्यारी नही, प्यारी मुझको मेरी आज़ादी थी, बाहर उड़ने को मैं ललचाती थी। माँ अब खाना बनाना सिखाती थी, दादी अगले घर जाने की हिदायत देके समझाती थी। पापा कल भी बेटा बुलाते थे, आज भी वही बुलाते हैं यही सोच के मैं इतराती थी। 'बड़ी हो गयी हो', 'बड़ी हो गयी हो' पक गयी थी मैं यह सब सुनके तो अपनी उधेड़ बुन में फिर से रम जाती थी।

आकर्षण की दुनिया में अच्छा दिखने की लड़ाई थी, बाजू वाले रहीम के लिए अब मैं मुनिया नही एक खूबसूरत पहेली थी। अब माँ नजर रखती हैं मेरी हर एक हरकत पे की कही फिसल ना जाऊ, जहाँ पापा भी हैं कुछ बदल रहे। समाज एक विचित्र मायाजाल हैं जहाँ मैं फंस न जाउ बस यही सोच अब वो घबराते हैं, इसलिए शायद समय रहते उन्हें अपनी जिमेदारी निभाने की जल्दी थी। मैं समझ रही थी कि बहुत पीछे छोड़ आयी हूँ उस सुनहरे बचपन को, शायद अब एक नयी जिमेद्दारी से भी मेरी पहचान हो। उत्कंठित हो जाती थी और कुंदित भी जब भी कोई मुझे पराया धन कहके बुलाता था परन्तु नए रिश्तो के आगमन की सूचना में ही मन गुदगुदाता था।

कांप जाती थी मैं अनदेखे भविष्य को लेके जब वो मंदिर का पंडित पापा को आके एक नया रिश्ता बताता था। जांचा परखा एक युवक सबके मनभाया, शुभ मुहरत में पवित्र अग्नि को साक्षी मानके वो मेरा सात जन्मो का साथ, मेरा पति परमेश्वर कहलाया। अर्धांगिनी हूँ मैं उसकी, खयालो की पराकास्ठा में वो रोमांच भी कितना गजब निराला था, मन नए हिलोरे लेता था, अथाह प्यार के समुन्दर में गोते लगता था।

बाबुल के घर से विदाई लेके यादों को समेटे जब मैं इस नए किरदार को जीवंत करने चली तो किसी ने भाभी, किसी ने चाची, किसी ने मामी कहके कुछ नए रिश्तो से मेरा परिचय कराया। सास में दूसरी माँ खोजने व बहु से बेटी बनने की दुरी को पुरा करने को ही मैंने अपना अगला निश्चय बनाया। बदल गयी थी दुनिया मेरी, परीक्षा में अव्वल आने की उठ्कंता में रमती जा रही थी मैं अपने इस नए वातावरण में।

कभी संवादों की गर्मागर्मी से ओत प्रोत तो कभी तन्हाई के शीतलपन में नाप रही थी मैं अपनी यह नई धरोहर, तभी एक नन्ही परी और एक प्यारे से राजकुमार ने धीमे से आके मेरे आँचल को खुशियों से भर दिया। ख़ुशी से ओत प्रोत अपने संसार को मैंने इन दोनों में था अब समेट लिया। अपना बचपन मैंने इन दोनों के बड़े होने के साथ फिर से जीया, वो सुखा आँगन फिर से भरा। पोषण करना अब मेरी नई जिम्मेदारी थी, समझ पा रही थी मैं अब मेरी माँ की वो विडम्बना, भावविभोर भी व्याकुल भी था मन मेरा मेरी बिटिया की चंचलता से। सांख बचाना और सामंजस्य बिठाना अब मेरी नई परेशानी थी।

भरण पोषण के साथ अच्छी शिक्षा दीक्षा दिलाना भी मेरी अभिलाषा थी, सूरज की तरह चमके और पनाश की तरह खिले, फले फुले मेरे लाल दुलारे अब मेरी यही तमन्ना थी। छम-छम करता आखिर वो दिन भी आया जब नाजों से पली बिटिया को विदा करते मेरी आँख भर आयी, मैं सोची नाटक रूपी मंच पे मेरी लाडो की थी अब बारी आयी, वो जीवन की अब नयी पारी संभालेगी, बेटी से बहु बनके अब किसी ओर के घर का आँगन महकाएगी। समय के फेर के साथ अब एक नयी जिम्मेदारी ओर निभानी थी, अपने सुने हुए आँगन को फिर से महकाने लक्ष्मी जो लानी थी। 'सोभाग्यवती भव:' कहते हुए आँख मेरी भर आयी थी, बहु के रूप में दूसरी बेटी पाके मैं फूली नही समायी थी।

प्रोड़ावस्था में कैसे, कब और क्या क्या बदल रहा था, सर में बढती चांदनी की तरह याद्दास्त पे भी काफी जोर लग रहा था।

अपनी तुतलाती आवाज़ में पहली बार 'दादी' जब उसने बोला तो लगा आसमान के सारे तारे लाके इसके आने वाले भविष्य में सजा दू, गले का हार थी वो मेरे और आँखों का नूर, खुश रहे सदा बस ऊपर वाले से यही अरदास थी। विडियो गेम के ज़माने में गुडिया कहाँ उसे भायी थी पर लोरी सुनके मीठे सपनो में खो जाने को वो हमेशा लालायत थी। मेरी ही छवि है वो, यह सोच आज भी मैं मुस्कराती हूँ। उसके गुलाब की पंखुड़ी जैसे लाल अधरो की मुस्कान से रोशन है यह घर मेरा जो कल बड़ी होके किसी ओर के यहाँ करेगी सवेरा।

कैसी अभिलाषा, जिजीविषा में जीवन के 60 वर्ष यूँ बीत गये, मिट्टी जैसे सपने टुटके नए आकार भी अब ले चुके। सोच रही हूँ बेटी, बहु, माँ, सास, दादी क्या क्या ना कहके इन वर्षो में सबने है पुकारा पर अपने लिए मैंने कब समय निकाला। रौशनी था नाम मेरा, हर जगह सार्थक किया अपने नाम को करके रोशन हर जगियारा पर जीवन में रिश्तो के इस हेर फेर में, भावनाओं के चक्रव्यूह में बाजु वाली ने फिर भी आज Mrs शर्मा कहके ही पुकारा।

याद है मुझे शेक्श्पेयेअर कहे थे - 'नाम में क्या रखा है…?', हाँ सच ही तो हैं मेरी पहचान मेरे आचार विचार, व्यव्हार का ही तो प्रतिबिम्ब हैं, नदी की उस धारा की तरह ही तो थी मैं जो जिस दिशा राह मिली वहाँ की हो ली। ईश्वर की सर्वोतम रचना - नारी थी, नारी हूँ, नारी ही रहूंगी जब तक यह माटी से बना ढाँचा माटी में ना मिल जाए।

PS: Happy Women’s Day……Celebrate the Woman in you and with the Woman/Women around you!

O Budgetiya O Budgetiya... !!!

Not sure why but this year I am having close watch on the moves or  the happenings around the boundaries be it Oscar or Union Budget. Respected FM Mr P Chidambaram has read the union budget in assembly today. A well versed and reversed speech by our hounrable minister and the hold on words was commendable (very much appreciable). The way he kicked off the presentation, everyone stalked it with great hopes; all ears and eyes open. Highlights are all over, but honestly this budget as per my understanding is weak and will leave us politically lame. I have tried putting across my thoughts one by one on few highlights:

1.       Allocation of funds to different sectors for development: good move sir, but I just wish the money stay alive & safe till this plan comes in action for its final consumers. We are well aware of the scams now and then happening in the country and transfer/movement of funds here and there for own good. Hope you have enough backup plan before your govt goes on toss J

2.       Rs 200 crore to stop women harassment and FM announces Nirbhaya fund for women too: Kudos again sir, thanks for uplifting the spirit among the real owners of this money proposition. But to be honest not convinced coz first lets define to whom, we would like to call as victim: the one badly assaulted in public or the one dying within household boundaries in correspondence of arranging the basic needs. Yes, I am speaking of domestic violence too which is predominately present in every 3^rd house of this country in some or other way… hope you have an answer for this too.

3.       Mr FM says - Health and education for all remain our priorities: offcourse sir, they should be given due importance as the old saying goes ‘eat well and study well to survive in the battle of life’. But needless to confront that the said health can be only gained when adequate proportion of nourishment is swallowed and which is not so possible due to price hike every now and then. Ahaa the Education too, Mr FM just FYI that in our country India the literacy rate is 74.04% in 2013. No doubt there is an improvement observed over past decades but majorly in the steady increase in no of schools/institutions, the quality of education is still invariant. And if I consider the kids going to some A or B class schools then majority of income shredded by their parents is on this uplifting only and beating the unnecessary needs of school in some or other form. Sadly, Education has become mere money making business nowadays. Are we having any check on them…guess you may plan to make some committee some day :O

Forgot to mention your so called announcement about scholarship to be given to SC/ST girls – though I am not casting any community biased statement but aren’t you publishing casteism tribe…?? Let everyone have equal opportunity to grow and flourish.

4.       Rebate announcement for new home buyers: definitely another good move to promote the people to earn the basic necessity among ‘ ROTI, KAPDA, MAKAAN’. I am just shooting one question here, isn’t it unfair to have a roof without food and clothes…??

5.       India's first women's bank to be set up. it will be a public sector bank:  looks like a lollipop for women but sir your target market isn’t a kid anymore. No existing bank treats us as an alien. Though lets wait when you unfold more on the stringent proposition of this plan and what purpose exactly this going to serve where internet Banking is already a spread like a virus J

6.       294 more cities to get private radio FM stations: another star in your flowery presentations, my straight question ‘Did you actually listen to any FM station this morning before presenting this? Since there is going to be no overhaul of statement but still did you try and listen to the voice of common men for which you have read this whole Budget 2013-14 chapter.’

And now one keen advice after getting back to home please switch to one FM atleast and listen to the questions that remain unanswered with this most anticipated budget. How difficult it is becoming to earn the bread and butter for survival, wish you can live life as a mango man for a day only :$

7.       No revision in tax slabs: this is all we waited for L. Highly disappointed as already we are overburdened with paying TAX for this and that thing and then also no revision in tax slab.

Just a FYI: on an average in an year an Indian spend 45-50% of his total income just paying so called TAX. You can label it as any Education/ Service/Cess/ VAT/ Income and blah blah (who cares since we don’t have choice to set ourselves tax free). I am ruthless but still want you to calculate what is left with us to spend on an average and that to ensuring the necessary upbringing of self and offcourse of our dependent follow too J

I am impressed with your saying ‘"I believe there is a bit of Azim Premji in every taxpayer." Please correct me in case um not following; A person who organizes and operates a business or businesses, taking on financial risk to do so or in simple words to put across who risk to earn his own bread and butter by working hard is termed as an ENTREPRENEUR.  Yes sir we are born entrepreneur coz since childhood we grow up seeing our parents fighting hard to survive in the battle of living and so thus we follow. Existence has itself become a challenge to us now.

“Meanwhile sensex is also dropping with such a solicited budget speech”

8.       What is costlier - Cigarettes, mobile phones, dining in AC restaurants, SUVs: sir we aren’t able to justify to our basic needs, thinking of luxury has already become a nightmare to us. What is cheaper - Jewellery, leather goods: even though it has lowered but the tax and surcharge will equal the amount. Also if I appreciate the move then please let us know where shall we go wearing the jewellery; bank lockers/ houses are already not safe keeping the precious gems (words like chain snatching and robbery aren’t new to any).

Though I lack hold on few untouched topics like fiscal deficit, credit rating thus leaving them as non-discussed.  

This budget is as good as Railway Budget by RM Mr Bansal 2 days back and I am sure like him, your wife too will give you cent percent for justifying the close call between need & supply (I strongly object but since its your personal matter ;) )

Also we very well aware that in this contemporary world, no free lunches are available but still paying back more than we actually save is also not digestible.

But hearty thanks for letting us know that for whole next year too you have laid us burdened to either question on our own existence or survival, left us mourned seeing our empty pockets again.

I welcome and wish to have all together new era in political summon of this country. I am sure now even a 3 yr old kid have an understanding of not calling this place as “country of golden bird” anymore.

Salute to rich politicians of poor country (By RICH I consider mentally, physically and wealth wise)  (Y)

I am not sure how many second this strict observation of mine on this budget but guess fresh air is still available free of cost (contaminated with air pollution, treat the same as freebies ;) )